Oh bummer

You know what annoys me? I made this blog so I could spam my thoughts and not having to care about who reads it for a change. This couldn't be more untrue. I know some of the people who read this, and it does change the way I look at this page, the way I write things down, and mostly what I write down.
When I feel shitty about stuff I can't talk about to someone, I have to write it down or I'll keep it with me and explode after a while. I have been pondering starting a new blog, with a new email address, but Gmail wouldn't let me make the account I wanted. By the time I got fed up trying, my frustrations had gone. Is that the way I have to be dealing with my shit? Struggling with Google for about 30 minutes a day?
Hell, that's not what I want! But neither do I want to start a new blog, for what's the use to write stuff when no one reads it?!
And I wish my best friend would stop making me feel worse instead of better! Damn him!
I'm too tired to think, let alone write, and it's getting worse.
The thing that is bothering me, I won't write down. Because my boyfriend will start a fuss again, as he always does.
In reaction to that, I will do something he will hate me for and feel sorry about that after for a while. Which will make me feel bad, I will want to write stuff down (hopefully in a more awake state so it will make some sense), and he will read it and it starts over again!
During all this, I'm trying to buy a new bed, sell the old one and try to sell my mopet. Also, I nearly have my first job as a nurse, am still a shopaholic and am turning 21 this year.
So there is some good stuff happening right now. I just hope someone buys the fucking mopet...
Man, how I want to sleep right now....